List: Academia-Themed Holiday Songs

“Little Admin Boy”

Copy they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum
Forward this email please
Pa rum pum pum pum
Reminder of meetings
Pa rum pum pum pum
Sign letters for the Dean
Pa rum pum pum pum
Ra pum pum pum
Ra pum pum pum

“Dean! The Herald Adjuncts Sing”

Dean! The herald adjuncts sing:
Pay us now, so we can eat!
We don’t know if come next year
We will have a job here

“All I Want for Christmas is a Paycheck”

Oh, I don’t want a lot this winter,
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about professors
Tenured means they don’t got needs!
Rent is all I want to pay,
Maybe buy some groceries too
Oh, I’ve been such a wreck
All I want for Christmas is a paycheck

“Oh Budget Cuts”

Oh budget cuts, Oh budget cuts!
You come above all the rest,
Oh budget cuts, oh budget cuts!
I used to have my own desk.

“I Saw Someone Smoking Cannabis”

I saw someone smoking cannabis
By the worn down smokers pole out back
It may be legal here
But still I crept so near
And now I have a picture
I’ll use for blackmail next year!

“Sabbatical”
(To the tune of “Joy to the World”)

Sa-bba-ti-cal!
It’s been so long.
I want to take you now!
I’ve published enough
To meetings shown up
But still I am denied
Seven years and I am fried
Sa-bba-ti-cal, when will you come?

“Can’t Afford to go Home for the Holidays”
(To the tune of “There’s no Place Like Home for the Holidays”)

Can’t afford to go home for the holidays
‘Cause you’re payed a graduate stipend
When you can’t remember the last not-work day
Oh, you know writing is how Christmas you’ll spend!