Caregivers need to take care of themselves, too

To explain their painful emotional journey to friends and family, Donham, who lives in Portland, Oregon, began making videos and posting them on YouTube.

Despite having long-term care insurance, Donham spent about one-third of his carefully built retirement savings while caring for his wife.

The health care system is mainly focused on patients; caregivers who are slowly burning out can slip by unnoticed until it is too late.

"We're seeing that caregiving burnout is more prevalent," said Anne Tinyo, national manager of life management services at Wells Fargo Private Bank.

[...] it's happening over a longer period of time.

Researchers have found that the human immune system can be weakened by stress and strain for up to three years after caregiving ends.

"Caregivers think that it's shameful or wrong to ask for help," said Mindi Golden, associate professor in communications studies at San Francisco State.

The Alzheimer's Association also offers many services, including online communities, nationwide support groups and a 24-hour helpline.

The Insight Memory Care Center in Virginia, which offers day care for people with Alzheimer's, began offering caregiver cruises last year.

[...] they have a higher burden and burnout rate.

After hearing many people's caregiving stories, Patti Davis, daughter of President Ronald Reagan, started a twice-a-week support group called Beyond Alzheimer's five years ago.

The best family teamwork involves meeting, talking and sharing responsibility, Tinyo said.

Thomas C. West, a partner in the investment advisory firm SEIA, said caregivers can become so overwhelmed that they neglect basic financial responsibilities, like filing their taxes, contributing money to retirement accounts and the like.