My husband broke my heart when he cheated on me with childhood crush and I’m worried he’ll do it again
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband broke my heart when he cheated on me with his childhood crush.
We managed to stay together, but I’m beside myself as he’s going to a school reunion next week and she will be there.
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I am 41 and my husband is 43. We have been married for 16 years and have two boys aged 12 and 11.
Two years ago, my husband went out for drinks one night with two old school friends, a woman and a man.
I didn’t bat an eyelid as we were happy and I felt secure.
When there was no sign of him the next morning, I began to worry. I dialled his mobile countless times, but he didn’t answer.
Using Find My Phone, I could see he was on the other side of town, so decided to go to the house.
He eventually called while I was on my way.
He told me he and his male school friend went back to the woman’s house for more drinks and they fell asleep. Something in my gut said he was lying, so I asked to speak to this man. I could hear a woman in the background.
Stammering, he said he’d just left. So I told him I was on my way and it would be lovely to meet his other school friend. Eventually, my husband admitted he’d messed up.
He couldn’t apologise enough when he arrived home.
He told me he’d always fancied her at school but she hadn’t been interested. So when she started flirting with him, he lost his head.
We have stayed together and managed to patch things up even though he has never actually admitted he cheated.
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I can’t tell him not to go to the reunion because I feel that would be unfair but I am in tears each time I think about it.
I’m worried, she’ll flutter her eyelashes again and he’ll stray.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s cheating was a horrible shock. School reunions can be notorious for pushing the boundaries in terms of trust between partners.
You cannot change the way you feel. All you can do is voice your opinions and hope your husband respects them.
If you trust your husband, talk to him about your fears and let him know you expect him to behave like a happily married man at this reunion.
You have your children to consider and they’ll be sensing the tension, even if they haven’t said anything. If only for their sake, you must move this situation one way or the other.
MORE FROM DEIDRE
Arrange plans of your own that night so you are not sitting at home imagining the worst.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help.