How do I get my daughter away from her dodgy new boyfriend?
DEAR DEIDRE: THERE’S something dodgy about my daughter’s new boyfriend, but she can’t see it.
I want to protect her, but know if I say anything, she’ll accuse me of interfering.
She’s 23 and I’m her concerned mum, aged 47. The new boyfriend is 35.
They started dating six months ago and she is clearly smitten.
I met him briefly when he dropped her home once, and he is tall and handsome and very charming.
But she still hasn’t met his family and even though I’ve invited him over for Sunday lunch several times, he’s always made a last-minute excuse not to turn up – a broken-down car, a virus, a relative rushed to hospital.
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From what she says, he has a good job, and yet he doesn’t have his own place.
Apparently, he’s sleeping on his friend’s sofa because his flat is being renovated.
Plus, she seems to pay for everything, despite being a recent graduate and in her first job.
I worry he’s not being honest with her and that he is using her.
How do I stop her from getting her heart broken?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m afraid your daughter is an adult and is old enough to make her own choices and her own mistakes too.
As you said, if you come on too strong with your suspicions, it may push her closer to him and away from you.
Avoid direct criticism of him and try to stick to factual observations to keep communication open between you.
She may well be starting to have her own doubts. Tell her you’re always there for her and won’t judge her.
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