How can I choose between my career and motherhood?
DEAR DEIDRE: CHOOSING between motherhood and my career feels an impossible decision – and no matter what I do I will lose.
I’m 28, and my partner is 32.
We had finally decided to start trying for a baby when I got a phone call offering me my dream position of being a paediatric nurse at a reputable hospital.
On a total whim, I had applied for it months ago but never actually believed that I would get it.
Now I feel torn. I know that between training and the unsociable hours of the job, I could not manage both.
But the idea of turning it down is upsetting. I’m not getting any younger and I feel my biological clock is ticking.
Opportunities like this don’t come up often and I really don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The only person who can decide what is right for you is you.
While I understand that you are worried, many women who become pregnant in their thirties have healthy pregnancies.
If this truly is the job of your dreams, perhaps you can work out how to start your new role and factor in having a baby later.
Could you take the job and postpone trying for a baby for a year, which at 28 wouldn’t make any difference to your fertility?
A woman’s fertility starts to decline at 30, and the decline becomes more rapid in her mid-thirties.
It may help to talk to a therapist. Read my support pack How Counselling Can Help.