Wife always turns down sex with me and makes me feel like a perverted for asking

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M constantly turned down for sex by my wife and left feeling like a dirty old man for asking.

She’s always tired, pulls a face or has no energy.

It’s always me who tries to initiate it, or even beg for sex. I’m 37 and my wife’s 35.

We have a daughter of three and have been married for eight years.

I have tried to be intimate with my wife in a non-sexual way to see if that helps – but it doesn’t.

I’m lucky if we have sex once a month. I’ve spent years trying to get closer to her and the constant rejection is awful.

I’ve never cheated on her but I have sexual needs that aren’t being satisfied.

There’s only so much pleasing myself that I can do.

DEIDRE SAYS: We know sex is good for our health and mental wellbeing.

There is nothing dirty about wanting to be close to your wife, and long-term rejection will affect your self-esteem.

This can also contribute to depression.

Talk to your wife to discover what lies behind her loss of sex drive.

Is she feeling low herself? Does she feel there are issues that need addressing in your relationship? Did she find your sex life satisfying before?

By talking to her, you can work this through. Kissing and cuddling each other with no pressure to have sex is a good start.

My support pack Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive explains more.