Swedish are great at sex – this guide will get you exactly what you want in the bedroom, says Ulrika Jonsson
THERE’S nothing Scandi-lous about enjoying a good sex life, as any Swede will tell you.
But Brits are now on the same wavelength and adopting more Nordic attitudes to getting it on.
The World Values Study found 42 per cent of people in the UK think casual sex is perfectly fine. Compare that to 39 per cent of Swedes and 26 per cent of the supposedly passionate French.
Sun columnist Ulrika Jonsson reveals why her fellow Swedes are the best in bed.
Fancy Scandi sex?
By Ulrika Jonsson
FAR be it for me to say the Scandinavians are great at sex.
But it could be that they’re really on to something.
It can’t be denied that they have a more natural approach to sex — there’s an openness to their attitudes and, dare I say it, a method.
It could be because it starts with education — at a young age.
I first learnt about it at kindergarten at the tender age of around five.
It wasn’t a case of learning about the birds and the bees. They called it what it was. There was no pretension.
Sex was not introduced to kids under a shroud of awkwardness, pretension or embarrassment. There was no discomfort in what was being discussed.
Added to that, the Scandis have no unease about nudity. They’re not self-conscious. People sunbathe naked and go skinny-dipping. And sauna culture is just a fact of life for everyone.
They are all rites of passage and, to that end, they help contribute to a truly natural approach to our bodies and what happens with them.
Nudity doesn’t imply sex. It does, however, lend itself to a more level playing field when it comes to bedroom gymnastics (for want of more bashful terminology).
And this is where I think they get it so right.
We know that in all aspects of life, the Scandis are obsessed with equality — they are probably the most egalitarian group of nations in the world. So it’s little surprise they bring that mentality into the bedroom. It isn’t all about the man, and the act does not just begin and end with his pleasure.
Scandi women seek out pleasure for themselves and have no problem establishing their rights to it.
Instead of the flowery, suggestive language others might use to try to carefully ensure their desires and needs are met, the Scandis tend to be clear and to the point.
It might not sound sexy or romantic but let’s face it, there are two of you in the bedroom and it does take two to tango.
Sometimes more, obviously, if that’s what floats your boat.
I’ve always felt they have a healthier approach to intimacy and closeness.
For them it’s just as much about the connection between two minds as it is between two bodies.
I think it makes for a deeper connection.
For the Scandinavians, sex has always been a very instinctive, primitive and natural action.
It’s never been cursed by the hush-hush, awkward, shameful aura created by the people I encountered when I first came to this country.
I think that establishing communication equality in the bedroom, a naturalness about nudity and a true acceptance that there is no shame in pleasure means they’ve got a lot of things right.
Then, obviously, all you need to do is strategically place about 100 Ikea candles around the room.
And then you have the perfect setting for an excellent bit of hanky-panky.
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1. Be open
IN Sweden, sex isn’t a taboo subject by any means. There is not the same association between sex and naughtiness like we have in the UK.
In fact, while Brits say “F**k off!”, the word for having sex is never used as an insult or expletive in Swedish.
That helps people to never develop a fear of being judged for what gets them ticking sexually.
Try being open. Chat to your partner about what they like in the bedroom.
2. Self-love is OK
MASTURBATING is not an embarrassing topic in Scandinavia.
OK, you might not mention it to your in-laws over breakfast but it is an accepted fact of life.
And women in northern European countries are just as open about solo fun as men.
Sexual pleasure, including solo pleasure, is serious business there.
Can you imagine a clinic here selling sex toys?
3. Embrace nudity
SAUNAS, nude sunbathing and skinny-dipping are all normal for Scandinavians.
In fact, there is nothing sexual about it.
Public nudity in Sweden dates back to medieval times when washing in public was the norm.
Being comfortable with your body can only make sex better compared with hiding under the covers and switching off the big light.
Try going about the house naked, but have a robe handy in case the bell goes!
4. Be direct
ONCE you feel comfortable talking about sex, try being a little bit more direct about what you want in the sack.
Swedes have no problem saying what works and what they would like their partner to be doing. They don’t get flustered.
So if something isn’t working for you, instead of pretending and going “Ooh, ahhh”, speak up and say what you really want.
5. Plan ahead
THINK Ikea and minimalism – yes, Scandinavians do like a bit of organisation. The same goes for their sex lives.
And no, it’s not unsexy to be prepared for an evening (or afternoon) of loving.
Sexiness does not happen by accident, so if you are in the mood, ensure you have everything you need.
Make sure you have to hand condoms, lube, sexy underwear or even toys – whether at home or out.
6. Get a knullkompis
EVERYBODY has their physical needs, and sometimes you just want a bit of no-strings fun.
Getting a knullkompis helps when you are in the mood but don’t want a full romantic relationship.
Too often Brits will send mixed messages about what they want – and that can lead to heartbreak.
Be upfront about what you see your relationship status as. Could it lead to something more or is it just sex?
7. Don’t go OTT
GRAND gestures or exaggerated compliments are not the way to get a Scando into bed.
It seems phoney, and as a pretty equal society, women there don’t like being treated like a damsel in distress.
In fact, they are known for being rather forward while the men can be a bit on the shy side and prefer subtlety in their wooing.
So lads, drop the sweeping gestures. Just be bold and brave.
8. Try a one-nighter
HOOK-UP culture doesn’t have the same connotations as it does in Blighty.
In Scandinavia, it’s quite normal to start with sex then maybe go on dates if each party likes what they see.
So don’t be tied to the usual dating patterns – and if you like someone, just go for it.
What’s the point of going on endless dates just to find out someone is a dud in bed?