'Legal tampering’ in NFL free agency makes no sense. Here’s a list of 8 better names

Today marks the beginning of the NFL’s “legal tampering” period in what is sure to be a wild free agency. NFL teams can start talking to prospective free ag–

Hey, wait a minute! Let’s backtrack for a second. “Legal tampering” doesn’t make sense. Think about it.

Tampering, as strictly defined, means to “interfere with (something) in order to cause damage or make unauthorized alterations.” The keyword there is “unauthorized.” Legal, as loosely defined, implies something is authorized and/or allowed.

So, in essence, anyone who says “legal tampering” to describe the period where free agents and NFL teams can talk is saying “authorized unauthorized” contact. It’s an embarrassing oxymoron in action.

To be fair to the NFL, they don’t actually say “legal tampering.” At least not anymore. The league calls it the “legal negotiation window.” It’s only so many of us that continue to, for some reason, insist on using a phrase that doesn’t make sense.

I know, the “legal negotiation window” makes it sound boring and colorless, but at least it’s correct! We need legitimate standards to discuss the Very Serious Zoom calls 300-pound men have with guys in three-piece suits before a fresh NFL league year.

In the best exercise of the English language (and pro football pedantry), here’s a list of alternatives we could use for legal tampering during this year’s free agency.