I caught my wife cheating on me with my best mates – she has broken up our family
DEAR DEIDRE: CATCHING my wife having sex with my best mate, while my other good pal filmed, has left me broken.
She and I have been having problems recently but I hadn’t realised things had got so bad.
We’ve been married for 12 years and my wife and I are both 39.
My two friends are 38 and 40. They looked shocked and embarrassed when I rumbled them, but my wife looked angry. She simply yelled “get out” at me
Both my wife and best friend work for the same big security company, while I am a prison officer.
He has been telling me for years about all the affairs, one-night stands and threesomes that go on in their workplace, but my wife has always dismissed the “rumours”.
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I’m not the jealous type and we had always had a happy relationship so I put the stories out of my mind.
But then we started to argue and I’ve seen a nasty side to her.
A year ago, I told her we couldn’t continue fighting, especially with a ten-year-old daughter in the house.
She blew up and told me she wanted to separate. I was devastated but felt I had no choice.
I haven’t moved out though and was hoping we could sort things out.
One day I was visiting my parents with my daughter but when I got to their house, they insisted I should go and talk it all through with my wife.
So I returned home. But walking through the front door and seeing men’s boots everywhere told me something was wrong.
And in the living room I found my wife straddling my best mate on the sofa as my other friend filmed on his phone.
My wife has broken up our family for her own selfish reasons.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You were happy but misread how unhappy your wife was. That said, she should have told you rather than cheating.
If you want to find a way to reconcile your relationship – and if she’s willing to try as well – tell her you’re going to take things one day at a time.
A new job for her would be a good start.
My help pack on cheating will enable you to find some emotional support in finding a way forward.
If there’s no going back for either of you, do the right thing by your daughter and try to keep things amicable.
Only Dads (onlydads.org) can help. It also has a useful book called (Almost) Anything But Family Court, for £20.