I can’t make wedding plans with a man who won’t let me meet his children
DEAR DEIDRE: WE have been looking for engagement rings but I am not sure if I can marry my boyfriend.
He’s 48, divorced and his children are eight and ten.
He visits them every few months as they live far away and Facetimes them once a week. But they don’t know about me.
I’m a woman of 42 and keep asking to meet the children but he says: “You will one day – just not yet”.
We’ve been together for five years.
His ex-wife is with someone else and has a toddler with them.
I can’t even begin to make wedding plans when there’s a huge part of his life I know nothing about.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Find a moment to talk about why he is keeping the children from you.
Ask him to be honest.
It could be he is worried that his ex-wife may stop him seeing the children if he’s in a new relationship.
It sounds irrational but this can happen.
If so, encourage him to work out the best way of talking to his wife by checking in with Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).
He may find that with a bit of courage, you can put this behind you and plan that wedding.