Jeremy Renner recounts snow plow accident, says he 'could see my eye with my other eye'

Jeremy Renner is opening up about his near-fatal snow plow accident and sharing some gruesome new details about his injuries.

Renner spoke with Diane Sawyer for an ABC special interview after he was crushed by a snow plow on Jan. 1 while trying to save his nephew. The Hawkeye star recounted leaning out the door of the vehicle to see where his nephew was and standing on the track before he fell onto the ground. 

Renner says he then jumped back onto the rolling track in an attempt to enter the vehicle and stop it from hitting his nephew, but he was hurled forward and crushed. According to the actor, he screamed "not today, mother f--ker" as he fell. He noted he was awake through the entire incident, adding that because one of his eyes was bulging out, "I could see my eye with my other eye."

Renner acknowledged the accident was "my mistake, and I paid for it," as leaning out the vehicle the way he did is "kind of like driving the car with your foot outside the car." He also told Sawyer he feels "bad" that his "actions caused so much pain" and revealed he wrote last words to his family on his phone, telling them, "Don't let me live on tubes on a machine, and if my existence is going to be on drugs and painkillers, just let me go now." 

But Renner is making promising steps in his recovery, and Sawyer caught up with him just after he was able to get back up on his feet for the first time. He's still "relearning to speak," but he said he refuses to "haunted" by the accident. 

"That is a man I'm proud of," he said, "because I wouldn't let that happen to my nephew."