Harriette Cole: I’ve had a privileged life, and the class assignment calls for hardship

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a first-year undergrad student, and I’m lucky to have lived a relatively privileged life with little difficulty or challenge.

For one of my elective courses, we are required to write a story about a hardship we have had to overcome and share it with the class.

While I appreciate this type of personal writing assignment, I have never experienced a great difficulty that would merit such a story.

My classmates’ stories have been difficult to hear. Many of them are much more mature and experienced in life than I am, and they have dealt with some truly devastating circumstances.

I don’t feel comfortable making up a hardship, so I don’t know what to do. I would like to avoid looking insensitive, but at the same time, I feel like a fraud writing a story I can’t really relate to.

Can you give me advice on how to handle this situation in the most sensitive and appropriate way?

Privileged

DEAR PRIVILEGED: Do you know of a hardship that someone you love has experienced? Perhaps you can tell that story along with your own.

You can admit in your story that you have led a privileged life. As a young person, you have yet to experience some of the things that your fellow classmates have endured. Admit that this makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes privilege can do that to a person.

Then share something you have observed or are aware of from your neighborhood, your school, your community growing up. Tell that person’s story from your perspective; write about what you learned about the person and their situation and how it made both that person and you feel.

Offer that you imagine that as your life progresses, you will witness more hardship and likely have some of your own. But today, what you have more than anything is empathy for people who have endured tremendous difficulty. Tell the truth. That’s all you can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new friend at work who just moved here from the Caribbean. We live in a cold-weather climate. Even though spring is slowly coming, it is cold here. It usually stays pretty cold until May, too.

My friend has only summer clothes. No matter how many layers he puts on, it’s not enough. I know this guy is proud. I want to offer him a coat of mine — not because he is poor or anything, but just because he needs it.

I don’t want to insult him, though. How can I approach this with respect so that he knows I’m coming from a good place?

Cold Outside

DEAR COLD OUTSIDE: Bring the coat with you to work in a closed bag so that it is private. Speak to your new friend and tell him that you brought him a gift that you think he may be able to use right now.

Tell him that it is a coat that is good for this climate. Point out that it will stay cold for several more weeks. Because of the weather, you have several coats, and it would be your honor to share one of yours with him.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.