Since my cross-dressing confession my wife thinks that’s a free pass to cheat
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER I revealed to my wife that I’m a cross-dresser, we agreed to an open relationship.
She now sees me more like a sister than a husband – but I still love her like before.
I’m 42 and she’s 40. We’ve been together for 12 years.
I’ve always dabbled with wearing women’s clothes and lingerie in secret, and a few months ago, I finally plucked up the courage to tell her.
She was shocked but said she understood. However, she found it a turn-off.
She said she wanted separate bedrooms and to date other men. And she encouraged me to meet other cross-dressers.
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I thought I was OK with it, but when she started bringing men home, I realised I wasn’t.
It made me feel insanely jealous and very confused. I don’t think I’m gay and I don’t want to be a woman either.
I hate the way our relationship has changed, and I feel so hurt.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are understandably unhappy with the way the dynamics of your relationship have changed.
It appears your wife has concluded that your desire to cross-dress means you want sex with men. But many men who cross-dress are heterosexual. And getting pleasure from dressing as a woman doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be one.
You need to talk to her very honestly about your feelings.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help.
Also read my Cross-dressing support pack and contact The Beaumont Society, (beaumontsociety.org.uk, 01582 412 220), which helps cross-dressers and trans people.
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