My wife continues to send x-rated snaps to her ex boyfriend behind my back
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M fed-up seeing pictures of men’s wedding tackle pop up on my wife’s phone.
She says she’s blocked these chancers but I can see they are still at it.
We’ve been happily married for ten years and are both 35.
We have a little boy of eight and a daughter of five.
I have a stressful job as a psychiatric nurse and have to deal with all kinds of people. Some of them can be violent.
Six months ago I was having a particularly difficult time at work.
At the same time, my wife seemed preoccupied with the kids and too tired for sex.
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I don’t know what I was thinking, but I ended up having a sexual chat with a random woman who messaged me on Instagram.
The conversation lasted 20 minutes, then I realised I was being an idiot and blocked her.
Since then I haven’t talked to anyone else that way.
Unfortunately, my wife found the messages and threatened to kick me out of our house.
A month later, I found numerous dirty texts and naked pictures on her phone and I was horrified to see she was sending naked images to her ex-boyfriend as well as other random men.
I confronted her and she promised she would stop. Fast forward two months and she’s still getting explicit photographs from her ex.
She’s made her point and I understand I hurt her, but this is dragging on and pictures keep coming.
I’m worried the kids will see something and that our marriage is over.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve certainly got some work to do on your relationship.
You both have a vested interest in getting things back on track, not least for your children.
You haven’t said you don’t love one another.
You need to start communicating again, so find a quiet moment to talk to your wife.
Tell her you love her, assuming you do, and apologise for letting her down.
It may open up the dialogue and will hopefully help her see that neither of you is innocent in all this mess.
Suggest that you both vow to block any third party who would disrupt your family life and start to focus on one another again.
This way you will reaffirm why you got together before the children were born.
My support pack on Cheating will show you where to go from here.
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