Death of QAnon cult leader sparks new conspiracy

Vice brings us a blockbuster new exclusive: Michael Protzman, leader of a QAnon cult premised on former U.S. president John F. Kennedy being alive and well and about to reveal himself to the faithful any minute now, just you wait, has died.

Well, probably. Maybe. It depends on your definition of dead, really, and who among us are really alive, when you think about it. Yes, a Minnesota medical examiner may be quite certain Protzman is dead, and the doctors at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, are quite sure he was dead when he was carted off to the morgue, but Vice reports that Protzman's cult followers don't actually believe that he's dead—and why would they? Protzman collected hundreds of Americans who were gullible enough to believe that JFK was alive despite the notable handicap of being assassinated 60 damn years ago. These are people who were not only willing to believe that but willing to turn their belief in that into a core component of their very being, enough to leave their lives and families to follow Protzman around while Protzman spewed out prophecies that were just like any other cult prophecies … except for the part where they were much stupider and for some reason centered around JFK.

These are not people who are going to be dissuaded by a medical examiner's report that their dearest leader died after a dirt bike accident tenderized him to a degree incompatible with continued corporal existence. Nope, they've got Theories.