FTW's scientific ranking of top chicken tendie dipping sauces
Look, it’s July and we are, at least at face value, a sports-based journalism outlet. The two major sports currently on the schedule just came off their All-Star breaks. There isn’t a lot going on aside from covering NBA rookies at the recently concluded summer league and trying to figure out what football season is going to look like.
As such, cabin fever has set in. The kind that has you building enemies lists over food takes shared in the group chat. The kind that inspires a triple-digit-celled spreadsheet in order to figure out the perfect dipping sauce.
Thus, on July 19, 2023, the For The Win staff decided it was time to end the sauce debate once and for all. Born to a discussion about cupcake icing and nursed to full health by entirely too many ALL CAPS replies and veiled threats (almost all by me. You got a problem with Zaxby’s then you’ve got a problem with me, friend), we took to the ballots and determine what, exactly, is the ideal companion to a perfectly fried chicken tender.
This is what we came up with.