I’m haunted every day by the abuse my parents inflicted on me as a child
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM haunted every day by the physical and verbal abuse my parents inflicted on me as a child.
It was clear they never wanted me, and now there isn’t a day that passes that I don’t feel utterly worthless.
I’m a man of 45 and for as long as I can remember I have suffered from anxiety and depression.
I didn’t have the best upbringing. My mum and dad were both heavy drinkers and had very little interest in me.
When they weren’t completely neglecting me they spent their time berating me and hurting me in any way they physically could.
I often get flashbacks to the things they did, from beating me senseless to stubbing cigarettes on my skin. It has traumatised me for the rest of my life.
They made it clear every day that they didn’t love me, and when they placed me in care at ten years old my self-esteem was already on the floor.
Ever since, I’ve spent every day trying to get over it, but nothing seems to work. I can’t even open up about it to my partner.
How can I move on?
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DEIDRE SAYS: What your parents did to you was terrible and cruel, but it’s not too late to get the help that you need to cope with what happened to you.
Childhood abuse always leaves emotional scars that are often just as real and just as painful as any physical ones.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. Please reach out for the help that is out there for you. I’m sending you my support pack on counselling which explains how helpful it can be.
You can also find help by talking in confidence with the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk, 0808 800 5000).
And my support pack Abused As A Child? will explain how to find support and resources to help you free yourself from your past.