I have to share a bed with my ex when he visits our son
DEAR DEIDRE: IF I want my ex to keep seeing our son, I have to share a bed with him.
We split up when our little boy was just three weeks old and he is now 18 months old.
When we split, my ex was pressuring me for sex, and as a new mum, I wasn’t ready.
I did some sexual things for him which I bitterly regret now. I should have just said no.
We’re both 23 and we’ve drifted apart.
He tells people that our pregnancy was an accident because the condom split, which isn’t true – there was no condom.
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I don’t think he’s mature enough to be a responsible parent.
He will happily see us go without, while he goes drinking with his mates.
I do my best to provide for our son but recently I had to cut my working hours purely because I couldn’t afford the nursery fees.
I live with my son and my mum in her tiny house.
My ex is two hours away so when he visits he always wants to do bath time and put our son to bed.
In my head we are finished but I think he thinks we’re still an item.
When he visits, I have no choice but to let him stay over. It’s so awkward because he and I have to share my mum’s single bedroom.
How can I tell him it’s over?
DEIDRE SAYS: If you’re better off without him as your partner, you have to say so.
You’re not being fair to him otherwise, and it will be confusing your son as he grows up too.
Your ex would be better sleeping in a budget hotel or perhaps with a friend so that you all get your space.
Lay down clear boundaries about what is acceptable and what isn’t, concerning contact with your son.
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you to get the message across.
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