I lost my job and sold fiancée’s engagement ring to pay off debt and she won’t forgive me
DEAR DEIDRE: DROWNING in debt and in desperation, I sold my fiancée’s engagement ring – now the wedding is off.
We’ve been together for seven years. She is 38 and I’m 40. We have beautiful twin girls who are three years old.
After my partner gave birth to the twins I fell in love with her all over again, and so decided to propose last summer.
She said yes and we’ve been planning our big day ever since.
Until I pawned her ring.
At the time it felt right to ask her to marry me but I was in a different financial situation then.
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I have since been made redundant from the travel firm I worked for and I’ve struggled to find a job.
With no money coming in and the red letters mounting up I felt under pressure.
I didn’t want to worry my partner but we received a summons letter after I had been avoiding payments for council tax.
I had to think fast and so knowing how much her ring was valued at, I knew selling it would get us out the quicksand – in the short term, anyway.
She has been frantically looking for her engagement ring for weeks and after she accused my cousin of stealing it, I had to come clean.
She hit the roof. She called me a lying deceitful man that she will never marry.
My heart is broken. I never meant to hurt her but she won’t understand my reasoning behind it.
I was only trying to keep the roof over our heads.
I told her once I’m straight I’ll buy her a bigger and better ring but she’s having none of it.
I’m currently sleeping on the sofa and the atmosphere is icy. I have no life, no job and now no future wife.
How can I win her round?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It would have been better to decide as a team how to clear the debt.
Good communication and trust are key to a successful marriage and making unilateral decisions damages any relationship.
Keep apologising to your partner and suggest you put the wedding on hold until she rebuilds her faith in you.
Postponing the wedding makes sense financially also.
Read my support pack Looking After Your Relationship, which explains how to improve the communication between you.
Also read the Debt Worries one, which has advice on how to tackle those red letters.