My husband turns foul whenever my son visits – I dread them two being together

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband turns foul and creates an atmosphere whenever my son visits. It’s got to the point where I dread the two of them being together.

I’m 59 and my partner’s 53. We’ve been married for eight years.

My son lived with us for a few years but when he met a girl, who brought out the worst in him, my husband really turned against him.

It was a hard time. My son was borrowing money from us and never paying it back.

So I understood my husband’s negative opinion about him. My son was so rude to us, I eventually threw him out.

Thankfully my lad’s relationship ended but he has a son with his ex. My son has since met a lovely girl and done a lot of growing up.

He has apologised several times for his behaviour but my husband still bears a grudge.

My son recently asked to leave his work van on our drive and borrow my car so he could visit his child.

My husband was not happy and spent the entire day stomping around.

When my son returned my car, he wouldn’t let him in the house, and threw the van keys back at him.

The following week, my son asked to stay at ours with his new girlfriend and my husband refused him.

I feel I can’t see my son without my husband making it unpleasant.

I’ve told my husband I’m stressed and struggling. I don’t want to live like this.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell him just how upsetting his treatment of your son is.

Could he feel insecure or jealous and perhaps see your son as a threat?

Or he may be feeling protective of you.

Explain how you realise your son treated you badly, but that it’s important for you to rebuild your relationship and you’d like him to be involved in that healing.

Find support through familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222,) who will understand the issues here.

My support pack Stepfamily Problems will help.