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Let Cardi B Have Sex With Her Ex in Peace

No one will ever know what the best thing to do on New Year’s Day is, but here’s one option: explain on an X livestream that you and your ex had sex but are not back together. That’s what Cardi B did, at least, and things seem to be working out all right for her.

The rapper was seen hanging out with her on-and-off partner Offset at a Miami strip club on New Year’s Eve, suggesting her recent assertion that she’s been single “for a minute now” was no longer the case. But Cardi clarified in an X Spaces livestream that no — actually, she was just “vibing” with her ex. She explained the situation like so: “Was I clubbing with my baby father yesterday? Yes. Did I get dicked down yesterday? Absolutely, baby.”

Any follow-up questions? Me neither, but we have answers nonetheless. To recap the night’s events in more detail, Cardi offered, “We was both in the same club and it was really awkward. I’m in my section; he’s in his section. It’s like, Man, just fucking come over here. Let’s just chill. We’re having a good time.

She added that New Year’s Eve coitus notwithstanding, she and Offset are not back on. “Getting back together is not a good night at the club and fucking all night long,” she said. “There’s things that he gotta work on; there’s things that I gotta work on. Until we work that out, I don’t feel like we’re back together.” Cardi added that she and Offset are giving each other space, going to couples therapy for the first time, and “trying to work on a healthy relationship.” “Yesterday was a vibe, and we were having a good time,” she concluded. “But that doesn’t mean it solves our problems.”

Cardi B and Offset met in 2016, and they secretly got married the following year. In 2018, they welcomed their first child, Kulture, and though they announced a few months later that they “grew out of love,” a flurry of offhand comments and joint public appearances in the ensuing months suggested they were back together. Then Cardi B filed for divorce in September 2020, only to celebrate her birthday with Offset several weeks later and then nix the burgeoning divorce proceedings. From there on out, it seemed as if they were going strong — they welcomed a second child, Wave, in September 2021 — until this past June, when suddenly they got into a very public back-and-forth that involved Offset accusing Cardi of cheating on him via his Instagram Stories. Cardi B confirmed they were broken up in December, and that just about catches up to the New Year’s Eve shenanigans. Who needs clarity in 2024?

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