HGTV star Tarek El Moussa lived in a halfway house after his first marriage ended: 'I didn't trust myself'

Tarek El Moussa revealed this week that after his marriage to Christina Hall crumbled in 2016, he lived for a time in a halfway house because "I didn’t trust myself to be alone." 

The "Flip or Flop" star detailed his diagnosis and treatment for two different kinds of cancer to Jeff Fenster on his podcast, saying he suffered from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, emotional highs and lows because of his treatment and "ultimately that turmoil led to my divorce." 

"Looking back," he added, "I wasn’t the best guy. I wasn’t the best husband, definitely not — I wasn’t the best father. I wasn’t the best son. I wasn’t the best friend. I just wasn’t the best human. No excuses. I was going through a lot at the time, but my actions were not the best." 

But he said when Hall left him he "went to some soul-searching places." 

HGTV STAR TAREK EL MOUSSA DETAILS ‘MASSIVE STRUGGLE’ WITH DIVORCE, CANCER AND STEROID ADDICTION

"I actually lived in a halfway house, and that’s my first time sharing that," he told Fenster. "That’s how bad I was. So, the reason I ended up there was I didn’t know where to go, and I needed 24-hour care. It was pretty bad. Because, you know, I had lost everything, it felt like, overnight, and there were so many different things going on." 

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El Moussa said he hit "rock bottom" after the divorce and "did not want to be alive. I felt that bad."

The 42-year-old said his turning point happened one day when he was driving around his home screaming and crying in the car about how life isn’t fair before it hit him that life simply isn’t fair. 

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"Some people start at zero, some people start at two. Some people start at 20. So, if you’re at zero, don’t b---- about the people starting at 20," he said. "Accept that you’re at zero and figure out how to get to 20. So, that was a defining moment for me. The word ‘fair.’" 

El Moussa married Heather Rae Roung in 2021 and the couple welcomed their son Tristan last year. El Moussa also shares two children: Taylor, 13, and Brayden, 8, with Hall. 

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The HGTV star told Fox News Digital last year, "I honestly, I mean, this is the happiest, hands down, the happiest I've ever been in my life. You know, I love being in my forties. I love being established. I love my family. I love my wife. I love my kids. Like, I couldn't be happier, and that's the truth."