I’m constantly nagging my wife for sex
DEAR DEIDRE: I have such a raging sex drive that I can’t stop nagging my wife for sex.
When we are not doing it enough, I can’t think about anything else, but she has a lower libido and I feel constantly frustrated.
I’m 36 and she’s 34. We have a young son, who is two. My demands for sex, I want it at least twice a night, are starting to become a problem in our marriage.
She is always tired and only wants it a couple of times a week. She says she is starting to feel used – that it is not her I want, but just the physical act.
I worry that she might be right. I think there is something wrong with me.
I was abused by my uncle when I was a boy, and wonder if this has anything to do with my obsession with sex.
Even when my wife and I are intimate, I masturbate several times a day. Sometimes, I go into the toilets at work to do it. Is there a way to lower my libido?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound like your need for sex is unhealthy, and damaging your marriage.
Childhood sexual abuse can have an impact on future sexual relationships.
Think about having sex therapy with a qualified therapist experienced in sexual trauma. Find one through the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk).
Tell your wife you are seeking further support so she understands.
My help on Different Sex Drives may also be useful.
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