I can’t forgive myself after I told my ex to ‘drop dead’ and he died soon after
DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T forgive myself after my ex died soon after I yelled “drop dead” at him.
He was goading me that I was turning into my mother – he knew how to press my buttons – and those awful words came spilling out of my mouth.
He suffered from a heart condition and as soon as I said those words, I wished I could take them back.
He was 54 when he died, nine years ago. I’m now 61.
Despite it being so long since he passed away, this memory still haunts me.
How can I let go of these awful guilty feelings?
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MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: What you said was in the heat of the moment and you didn’t know what was ahead.
Keep reminding yourself that you did not contribute to his death in any way.
Think about your ex partner. Would he want you to carry around this guilt?
My Bereavement support pack explains more about the grief you are experiencing.
Bereavement charity sueryder.org offers six weeks of counselling so it’s worth checking out.