How do I tell my ex-wife that I’m still in love with her?

DEAR DEIDRE: Even though my wife and I broke up two years ago, we kept in touch because of our children.

After a year of being apart she had nowhere to stay. She’d been living with her parents and a few of her friends had put her up, but it hadn’t worked out so I offered her one of the rooms at my house, for rent, and she came back.

I was so pleased because I’m still in love with her. Secretly, I hoped we could sort out our differences and get back together. I’m 39 and my wife’s 37. We’ve been married for eight years and have two boys aged six and four.

She’s been renting out this room for just over a year. It’s amazing to have her living back at home. I’m still desperately in love with her but she keeps telling me she’s moved on.

However I know for a fact that she acts and talks to her friends as if we’re still together. I have heard her on her phone and seen a few messages which back this up.

I don’t know what to think. 

Should I wait for her to come around or just move on.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your wife you love her and offer to go to counselling, ask what it would  take for her to give your relationship another chance.

But if she insists she has moved on, then there is not much you can do to make her change her mind.

She may feel embarrassed about having to move in with you and wants her friends to think your relationship is back on track.

The housing charity Shelter (shelter.org.uk) might be able to help you with advice on your specific situation.

Please have a think about how this situation will be affecting your sons. If you are confused then they will be too. It would be good to talk this through with your wife.

My support pack When Parents Fall Out explains more.