Tomorrow’s Itinerary for the Geese in My Apartment Complex
0500: Sound the alarm.
0600: Recitation of the day’s mantra in the traditional spirited honking.
0700: Singing of “O Canada” and flyover in standard formation.
0800: Announcement of the flock’s minutes.
0830: Synchronized shitting and breakfast on the east bank of the retention pond.
1000: Gather outside the dog park fence for the “Taunting of the Mutts.”
1200: Preening and beautification.
1300: Loud meandering.
1430: Stop traffic. Honk.
1600: Group aerobics at the retention pond.
1800: Carnal activities.
1802: Bathing.
1807: Carnal activities.
1809: Unwind.
1900: Synchronized shitting and supper on the north bank of the retention pond.
2100: “O Canada” reprise and flyover in standard formation.
2200: Sleep / carnal activities.