Nation’s Impish Swing Voters Announce They Have Little Surprise In Store

ATLANTA—Holding their hands up to their mouths and giggling as their eyes darted from side to side, the nation’s impish swing voters announced Monday that they had a little surprise in store for everyone. “Tee-hee-hee! You’d like to know who we think is the candidate of change in these troubled times, wouldn’t you?” said registered independent Wren Mogley, who spoke at a press conference held by mischievous undecided voters from across the country, letting a puckish grin twist up from the corners of his mouth before he ducked behind the podium, his cheeks blushing red. “You’ll never guess what tricks we fickle rascals have up our sleeves! Our minds flit ever so unexpectedly from one candidate to the other and then back again. Who oh who will we fancy on Election Day? La, la, la, la, la—the entire country is at our mercy!” According to political analysts, the twinkle in the eyes of the nation’s impish swing voters suggested most would probably forget to go to the polls.

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