Fine, I’ll Read the Gwyneth Paltrow Biography
If I’m going to hear about Gwyneth Paltrow, I usually want it to come directly from Goop herself. Whether she’s talking about “open-eye meditation” or raw milk, Paltrow has a unique way of making me roll my eyes and then keep coming back for more. Because of this, I was skeptical about Amy Odell’s upcoming Paltrow biography, Gwyneth, which comes out next week. I thought I would rather read Paltrow’s own memoir, which so far exists only in my imagination (but trust me, it’s good). However, recent excerpts from Odell’s 448-page book have led me to reconsider.
Last week, People published several juicy tidbits from the book, which was written based on over 200 interviews conducted by the author. And while we may not be getting Paltrow’s exact point of view on the events of her life, we are certainly getting a lot of gossip. Take, for example, the story about the actress’s falling out with Madonna.
“Their relationship reached a breaking point when Madonna showed up to an island where Gwyneth and [Chris] Martin were vacationing. Madonna seemed to know that Gwyneth would be there, which Gwyneth seemed to find strange, a friend remembered,” wrote Odell. “Madonna then insisted Gwyneth and Martin join her for a big group dinner at a long table where Madonna went off on her daughter, Lourdes. Gwyneth and Martin were disgusted by the behavior. ‘I can’t be around this woman anymore,’ Martin told Gwyneth. ‘She’s awful.’ Gwyneth agreed that Madonna was toxic and ended the friendship.”
That’s pretty good, right? The book also shares how Paltrow chose to star in Se7en instead of the Keanu Reeves movie Feeling Minnesota. Apparently, a friend asked her, “Well, who do you want to date, Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves?” As those of you who follow ’90s fashion-inspo accounts already know, Paltrow and Pitt went on to date for three years; the rocky end is chronicled in the book.
Speaking of boyfriends, remember when Paltrow went on Call Her Daddy and said Ben Affleck was “technically excellent” in the bedroom? Well, this book is giving us insight into what she might have meant. Odell detailed that while Affleck “didn’t always reciprocate her affection,” Paltrow “spoke openly about how much she enjoyed their sex life.”
In the book, Odell names a certain sex act Affleck would perform on Paltrow that she apparently “loved.” While the prudes at People didn’t refer to it by name, the pervs at “Page Six” shared enough of an uncensored version that we could get the gist. According to the outlet, Odell wrote that Paltrow “told Kevyn Aucoin in his London hotel room one day after lunch that she loved when Affleck ‘tea-b****d’ her.” Hello!
Other details from just this excerpt include a rumor allegedly started by Winona Ryder about Paltrow stealing the Shakespeare in Love role from her, an account of Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” from Martin, and what she is like as a boss (the scary combination of an impatient perfectionist). I am still anxiously awaiting Paltrow’s story in her own far-from-reality words, but this tome will be more than enough for now. Congratulations to the marketing department at Simon & Schuster. You got me.
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