Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters
NAPERVILLE, IL—Scurrying into the alley as employees chased her with a broom, Aldi CEO Atty McGrath reportedly had to be shooed away Tuesday after she was seen rummaging through the dumpsters behind a local Whole Foods. “We keep finding her rooting around our bins looking for food items she can stock her shelves with,” said assistant manager Ed Ruiz, describing multiple occasions upon which team members had found the discount grocery chain’s top executive peeling the 365 labels off expired cans of beans or scraping mold off a carton of raspberries. “I personally don’t mind if our excess food can be used to feed hungry Aldi shoppers, but it becomes a safety issue when she starts approaching our customers and trying to sell them a bruised cantaloupe she scavenged for 39 cents a pound. Everyone can hear her banging around in the garbage and rattling on about sell-by dates being merely a suggestion. We’re going to have to start locking the bins at night to keep her out.” At press time, the CEOs of Dollar Tree and Dollar General had been spotted behind an Aldi dumpster in Cleveland wrestling over a package of broken clothes hangers.
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