Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 

SAN FRANCISCO—Citing a right to keep their torsos sheathed in windproof synthetic fabrics, tech billionaires were reportedly threatening to flee California on Monday over a proposed statewide vest tax. “If the legislature passes this measure, you can bet that countless entrepreneurs and venture capitalists are going to pack their bags and move their gilet collections to Texas,” said tax advisor Aaron Faucher, who confirmed that several of his clients, including Larry Page and Peter Thiel, had already begun transferring garment bags to states more friendly to billionaire wardrobes. “Will they be sweatier wearing their insulated vests down in the Austin heat? Yes. But they earned that $300 Arc’teryx vest, and they’re not going to let some radical socialist take it away from them. The sweat stains will be worth it.” Faucher went on to say that billionaires’ vests had created thousands of dry-cleaning jobs in California.

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