4 Signs You’re Afraid To Be Vulnerable (According To Psychology)
Research has shown that vulnerability is an incredibly common fear. And given the fact that the definition of vulnerability is “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally,” it makes sense why someone may be fearful of it. No one wants to get hurt or heartbroken after all! That said, you still need to be vulnerable if you want to live a full and authentic life.
As such, here are four concrete signs you have a fear of vulnerability.
1. You have major walls up.
You’re extremely closed off and have a very difficult time being open with others, especially emotionally. You constantly hold pieces of yourself back and never say how you truly feel. You make sure to never reveal too much about yourself because you don’t trust other people to hold what you say with care. After all, they haven’t before. Why would you risk getting hurt again?
2. You keep everyone at an arm’s length.
You do this because it just feels “safer.” But you have to admit, it gets pretty lonely, too. But no matter how close you may want to be with someone else, you just can’t get yourself to bridge the distance. It feels too scary and painful.
3. You’re a perfectionist.
You’re absolutely terrified of making mistakes. Not only that, you will do everything you can to be “perfect” because you think that this will keep you safe and secure. After all, someone can’t reject perfection, right?
4. You’re afraid of people leaving you behind.
Finally, if you have a fear of vulnerability, you also most likely struggle with abandonment issues as well. These abandonment issues may present in a number of different ways. For example, you may try to be the perfect friend (see point three). Or perhaps you always leave before you have the opportunity to be left, especially when you feel yourself starting to let your walls down.
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Vulnerability is necessary for loving and sincere connection and relationships. To be vulnerable means to be open with your emotions, your heart, and yourself. To be alive is to be vulnerable. And if you hold yourself back from experiencing true vulnerability, you also prevent yourself from living your fullest and most authentic life.