Artistic collaboration led the way to love

On their first date in March 2012, Robert Trujillo and Joy Liu were at the New Parish in Oakland seeing jazz pianist Robert Glasper, when his band did a cover of Floetry’s “Say Yes.”

The Oakland couple had already been friends and artistic collaborators for six years, so the transition to a relationship was seamless.

Joy, 36, a graphic designer and line cook at Oakland’s Communite Table, also holds a monthly vegetarian pop-up there called Mudita Ramen, which Joy is working toward turning into a restaurant.

When Robert was about to move to New York to attend the New School — taking his then-partner and son with him — he held an art night as a last chance to hang out before he left, which Joy attended.

While in New York, Robert started a project called Come Bien Books (“Eat well,” in Spanish), which connects writers and illustrators of color, and asked for Joy’s help with the design work.

At some point, through their network, Joy heard that Robert and his partner had split up.

“I don’t talk to anyone on the phone,” she said.

Robert moved back to Oakland in 2009, and they maintained a work relationship as well as a “refreshingly platonic” friendship, as Joy calls it, although Robert says that eventually his friends began teasing him that he should ask her out.

While standing in the freezing ocean, Joy put her hands in Robert’s pockets to warm them, and found a ring.

Joy also addressed Robert’s son, Saja, saying, “Thank you for sharing your family with me and for welcoming me like a champ.”

In a community vow, the officiant asked guests if they would promise to continue “to build community,” to support Robert and Joy in times of great challenge, offer guidance and hold the couple to their “highest selves.”

Robert told Joy that among the things he loved about her was her attention to detail.

When you sit down to do a project or agree to help someone, you are 100 percent there.

The only time really that we argued was whether a paper-cutting art piece we created should leave some remnants of the razor in the cut (I thought so) or no trace at all, perfect in fact (your position on the matter).

[...] Joy told Robert, I promise to keep myself open to you, and to listen mindfully to all that you share with me.

[...] I promise to share with you my time and attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I promise to continue protecting your solitude as well, that fertile space you need to be alone sometimes to create or just unwind.

Or attend to social media.

From home garden and Oakland Flower Mart; corsages by Sophia Blum

Event planner:

Done by the couple, with calligraphy / hand-lettering by Robert Liu-Trujillo; design by Joy Liu-Trujillo

Special catered meals for vegans: