Vomit Troughs to be Installed at All 2016 Election Polling Places
"This is something we've discussed doing many, many times in the past but current circumstances demand that we finally take action," says Agnes Chesterbarne, Nausea Specialist from the Department of Health and Human Services. "We also believe this will increase voter turn-out because people are sure to bond over feeling physically sickened by the choices they face in November."
State election organizers will experiment with a variety of attractive and sturdy wooden, aluminum, and marble troughs that can accommodate up to two dozen voters simultaneously, either before or after they have cast their ballots.
In addition, an assortment of feathers, toothbrushes, warm salt water, egg whites and castor oil will be provided to induce vomiting in case the mere prospect of picking one of the Republican or Democratic candidates is not enough. Said Allegheny County official Joshua Whitbirdy, "I'll go out on a limb and say that most voters won't need any additional help."
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