Add these to the résumé.

Expertly judging if an oncoming fart is Something More.

Nickelodeon / Via Twitter: @SugaMamaBoom

Noisily fumbling with the toilet paper holder dispenser before splashdown.

Or executing a well-timed cough.

DreamWorks Pictures / Via reactiongifs.com

Masterfully executing the squat and hover when a seat is particularly nasty.

imgur.com

Strategically clenching as you waddle to the bathroom when you waited a little too long.

BBC / Via gifs.tastefullyoffensive.com

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