Analysis: Ted Cruz Maybe Should Have Been Less Of A Jerk To Everyone

Last night, after the Indiana primary results were called, almost immediately, for reality television star and R'lyehian love-pillow Donald Trump, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz -- thought to be the last hope of the "#NeverTrump" movement if we weren't counting John Kasich (and we weren't) -- bowed out of the race, elbowing his wife in the face in the process.

Cruz vacates the race after winning a handful of states and demonstrating some degree of savviness when it comes to meticulously working the delegate selection process. This probably will give him hope to believe he might give this whole running-for-president thing another try in 2020. There is one thing he might consider doing differently, however: Maybe don't be a huge prick to everybody. Maybe just cut back on the whole being-a-prick thing by, like, 50 percent. Give that a try.

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