Read Van Gaal’s best quotes as Manchester United boss
Here are the best quotes and jokes of the former Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal.
Loius Van Gaal and his Dutch back room staff have been sacked despite winning the FA Cup on Saturday May 21. The coach was informed of his sack at approximately 8.45am after he resumed work at Carrington on Monday morning.
Resign…
“I think I don’t have mentioned that ever. You make your own stories. Then I have to answer. I am not doing that. It is awful and horrible but you can write.”
“It is the third time I am sacked and I am still sitting here. I am obliged to [attend press conferences]. A lot of people ask in a disrespectful way. I have always faith.”
“When you lose it is worse. I predicted before Southampton. Now I cannot lose any more because then, for the fourth time, I have been sacked. Then it might be the truth.”
Aims…
“I hope to end my career with the championship. That’s my ambition and it would be fantastic because that is Manchester United’s ambition also.”
“I am not a short-term coach. I am thinking always for the long term.”
“I am very confident I shall succeed here.”
“I have signed a three-year contract. Believe me, I shall finish that.”
Philosophy…
“[Victor Valdes] is not selected because he does not follow our philosophy. There is no place for one player [who does not do do that].”
“You have to adapt to our philosophy and that’s difficult for [Di Maria].”
“I wanted to assess my team. I can judge only when I am the coach and I transfer my philosophy and know how they perform.”
“The important thing is that I am training the players not in the legs but in their brain. It’s brainpower.”
“West Ham United have played 71 per cent of long balls and we have played 49%. You can copy [this dossier] and then go to Big Sam.”
“I have played now already five or six systems and I am looking still for the balance.”
“The progress is there but a club like Manchester United have to win.”
“Today we played well – only we forgot to score. We have to be more effective.”
“I have worked for more than 35 years as a coach and I have always played attacking football.
“I have always said I am not only evaluating the players but I am also evaluating myself and my staff.”
Six games without a win…
“I know belief in a manager is very important. And when you lose games, belief in a manager shall decrease. That is happening now. I cannot close my eyes.”
Fans…
“Supporters have to support otherwise they make it more difficult for the players.”
“Of course I heard [booing], I am not deaf.”
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Journalist…
“You have criticised [Wayne Rooney], I don’t. [Points at journalist] You too! Fat man!”
Manchester United awards dinner…
“Hello. Hello. Hey. Pay attention to the manager.”
“I have said to you that you are the best fans of the world but I was tonight a little bit disappointed. And I shall say why. I have seen a lady who plays the saxophone fantastically. Give her a big applause!”
“No, no, no, no. You have to listen. I ASK YOU TO LISTEN.”
Desire…
“We have to keep the ball better and we have to move the ball quicker – that’s always what we have to do. Desire… it is a great word. I often use the word “horny” with my players.”
Hair…
“When you see what Huth is doing with Fellaini it is a penalty. Shall I grab you with your hair? What is your reaction? Your hair is much shorter. I think [Fellaini’s] is a normal reaction. Every human being grabbed with the hair would react in this way. Grabbed with the hair, only with sex, masochism [is that okay].”
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