29 Things That Would Happen If The White Guy Blinking Were Your Boyfriend
He wouldn’t always get your jokes, but at least you’d get to borrow from his collection of plaid shirts.
Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed
1. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he would never complain if a stranger fell asleep on his shoulder on a plane, or try to wake them up. He would just blink in polite surprise for the remainder of the four-hour flight.
2. When the person eventually woke up and said “Oh god, sorry!” he would pretend not to have noticed.
3. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, you’d borrow his plaid shirts a lot.
4. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he would be slightly startled every time you swore.
5. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he would buy really nice hand soaps for his bathroom AND his kitchen.
6. He wouldn’t know what conditioner was for, though.
7. On your first date with the white guy blinking guy, he’d order a really spicy dish without realising. “Are you sure you want that?” you’d ask, and he’d be like, “Yes, I love spicy food!” but you would notice a few beads of nervous sweat forming on his forehead.
8. He’d be a few bites in when you'd see his eyes widen. To spare his feelings, you would dismiss yourself to visit the bathroom.
9. When you returned, his meal would be unexpectedly nearly finished. “I’m a really quick eater!” he'd croak. You would notice his napkin was balled up and hidden behind his empty water glass.
10. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he’d have a pretty hard time understanding your dad’s accent the first time you brought him home to meet your parents, but he’d be really polite about it.
11. Your dad would ask him a question and he’d mishear it, blink, and start to stutter – you and your dad would share a smile, and you’d repeat the question for him.
12. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he would always lose at board games but usually win swimming races.
13. His best stroke would be backstroke.
14. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he’d give you rides to work in a very sensible car, and get frustrated with bad drivers. It’d be the closest thing to anger you would ever see in him.
15. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, you would make fun of him in a loving way to your friends sometimes, but if anyone else was mean about him you’d be furious with them.
16. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he wouldn’t necessarily get all of your jokes.
17. Meanwhile, he’d enjoy making “In Soviet Russia…” jokes, as well as vaguely risqué puns.
18. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, you would have three children together and name them Sarah, Andrew, and Stephen.
19. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, he would compliment you on your “skirt” when you were actually wearing a dress, and compliment your “dress” when you were actually wearing a skirt.
20. If the guy from the white guy blinking meme were your boyfriend, your grandmother would be thrilled.