Psychologist advises parents on how to talk to their children about the shooting spree

AUSTIN (KXAN) – Random acts of violence like what happened on Tuesday can leave many feeling unsafe and unsettled, especially children.

Shane James is accused of killing his parents in Bexar County. Police say he then went on to commit a series of random deadly shootings in Austin.

Austin Child Psychologist at Bluestem Psychological Services, Julia Clark, said the random nature of a crime like this can be destabilizing to some. 

“I think what we see when these events happen, and sadly are becoming more common, is that sense of uncertainty and a sense of like, ‘What can I count on? What can I rely on?’” Clark said. “It's that sense of unpredictability and uncertainty that's most frightening probably.”

Any act of gun violence can be hard to understand, but Clark said the unpredictable nature of this event can be traumatic. 

“There is no logic. It just doesn't make sense. And I think that's where it gets really scary,” she said. “That sense of uncertainty is, unfortunately, teaching the kid that the world is not a safe place. And so, I think it can really rattle their sense of security, especially when it happens somewhere close to home,” Clark said. “It feels like, ‘well, this could happen to me, this could happen in my home.’”

What can you do for your kids?

Clark said validating your child’s feelings and reassuring them that these events are still exceedingly rare was important in these instances. 

“Also, I think parents modeling that it's okay to be scared and frightened,” she said. “We don't need to pretend this isn't a scary thing…We can process through those feelings and then provide the reassurance, saying at the same time as being scared, we also know that we're safe because X, Y and Z.”

Clark said reminding your child of things like the safety of their neighborhood, the practices in place that prevent a shooter from getting on a school campus or the teachers who are present to support them can help build their confidence. 

“As parents, we don't want our kids to feel bad ever,” Clark said. “Life is not going to be happy all the time. And so we need to validate our kid's emotions and say, ‘This was a scary incident, you were allowed to feel scared about that –I feel scared sometimes, too. And here's how we're going to cope with it.’”

After an Austin ISD police officer was shot Tuesday, an AISD spokesperson sent the following additional resources to parents on how to talk to kids about gun violence.

“We share the pain our city is feeling surrounding these horrendous events. I encourage families and staff to review the below resources for support talking to children about gun violence:

• Kidshealth.org: Talking to Kids About Gun Violence
• Sandy Hook Promise: How To Help Children Cope With A Gun Violence Tragedy
• National Association of School Psychologists: Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators"