“Don’t kill protestors! That’s our thing!”: “Saturday Night Live” roasts Hegseth, Trump Cabinet
Donald Trump‘s entire Cabinet came in for a drubbing when “Saturday Night Live” returned from holiday break this weekend. The sketch show’s crowded cold open took shots at Kristi Noem, Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth and JD Vance.
The Department of Homeland Security head was played by cast member Ashley Padilla for the first time. Taking over for Tina Fey, Padilla’s Noem lauded ICE‘s performance in Minneapolis as “perfect” and shouted out her “hair and makeup team, who absolutely hate me.”
She went on to share what type of American ICE is looking for in their ongoing, flagging recruitment campaign.
“Well, let me ask you this: is your neck wider than your head? Are you currently wearing a Punisher T-shirt? Have you ever punched a hole in the wall because your son took a dance class?” she said. “If the answer is yes, then grab a gun, any gun, and saddle up, big boy.”
Vance tried to join in the tough talk of the Trump Cabinet. Played by new addition Jeremy Culhane, the vice president warned. that he was here to “kick bubblegum and chew ass.”
Weekend Update coanchor Colin Jost reprised his role as Hegseth, taking a moment to mock viral videos of the defense secretary’s kettlebell workout routine. Jost lifted a kettlebell and humped the air, leading James Austin Johnson’s Trump to remark “even I know you’re doing that wrong.”
Workout finished, Hegseth praised the United States’ recent incursion into Venezuela and salivated at the idea of attacks on Iran.
“We’ve been rocking out with our c’s out all over the world,” Hegseth said. “We dunked on Venezuela. Next, we’re gonna sack-tap Iran. I’m gonna put the Ayatollah in the cuck chair. I’m going to tell him, ‘if I-ah-tol you once, I-ah-tol-ah you a thousand times: You don’t dare kill your protesters! That’s our thing!'”
Watch the entire clip below via YouTube:
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