Youth Sports Coaches Say Parents Can Be a Major Problem—Driving Some to Want to Quit
I’m a mom to an athletic 9-year-old girl who lives for the court and the field. She’s played travel soccer and basketball, and—truly—we’ve been lucky. Her coaches have been the kind you hope every kid gets: team-first, calm under pressure, and quick to remind parents that the sidelines are not an extension of the bench. “Let them play,” they’d say. “Always keep it positive.” Most days, it works.
But youth sports can be emotional. Games get tight. Competition escalates. And sometimes, when the other team is loud and aggressive, a few adults feel pulled into matching that energy. I’ve seen it happen. We all have.
That tension is something coaches across the country say they’re really grappling with. According the just-released results of the 2025 National Coaches Survey, conducted by the U.S. Center for SafeSport, 46% of youth sports coaches say they’ve been verbally harassed, and more than half of those say the mistreatment most often comes from parents, not athletes or officials.
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Another stat that jumps out: nearly two-thirds of coaches have seriously considered quitting, and burnout is nearly universal. Women coaches, coaches with disabilities, and coaches from racial or sexual minority groups reported higher rates of mistreatment and discrimination.
In the nationwide survey, which gathered responses from more than 3,400 coaches across 66 sports (most of whom coach kids and teens), coaches also reported witnessing troubling behavior from other adults in charge. Nearly half said they’d seen other coaches shout at athletes in frightening or belittling ways within the last five years.
At times, matters can escalate beyond being “cringe,” as the kids would say. A sporting event can become unsafe. Earlier this month, a youth basketball game on Staten Island made headlines after a fight broke out between parents in the stands, forcing police to intervene and shut down the game. The story, from NBC New York, mentioned kids crying, and moms going “head-to-head in an all-out fist fight” with other spectators joining in for a brawl. It’s an extreme example, but the new survey suggests it’s part of a broader culture problem in the United States.
Still, it wasn’t all bad news. While 85% said they’ve felt burned out and 64% have considered walking away altogether (though also partially to the lack of organization support and time demands), 92% of survey respondents said coaching has had a positive impact on their lives.
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Safety Policies Do Exist, But Parents Can Undermine Them
In the survey, most coaches said they feel confident recognizing abuse and misconduct. Their training also keeps athlete safety a priority beyond winning. However, implementation is where things get messy. Parents don’t go through the training. Over one-third of coaches surveyed said parents’ lack of understanding creates a barrier to enforcing safety policies. Many also reported parents misusing or bending rules to benefit their own child.
In other words, even the best safeguards don’t work if the adults on the sidelines don’t respect them.
An Important Reminder for Parents
Flashback to my 4th grader’s recent basketball game, where a sign hanging at the wall of the gym caught my eye:
It was a simple sign with a big message, and one every parent in the bleachers needs to read.
This isn’t about blaming parents. It’s about being more aware, and quite frankly, regulating our own emotions during games. Our kids are watching how we talk to people, how we react to their losses (and wins), and how we treat coaches, referees, and other parents when emotions run high. Those lessons matter far more than a weekend tournament record.