holiday rap mc miker g & dj sven
i had been tanning my beautifull body on the beach,and half sleeping with one eye open,clocking the topless ladies playing frisbee.
hoping for an overthrow,and wishing the multi coloured flying dish lands near my speedos.
then the misses comes back from playing bingo,now im hoping that when the nice one flipps a douple spinner,coming towards my stretchy swimwear,and a sniper on the fith floor of the playa blanca takes it out with one shot,bang bang bang.end if game,im saved.
she is very observant and would notice any small movement downstairs,and she would send me to bed early without my cuppa soup.
then i had a good idea,and i fell asleep.
i woke up the same day and we went back to our room on the fith floor of the playa blanca,we got some beers and wine from the el bongo supermaket just around the corner.
wacked them down,so i went and got some more,it seemed a bit further,this time.
wacked them down,she said darling your are so handsome and i worship the flipflaps that you walk on [she never said the last bit,i put it in for the comedy affect]shall we stay in tonight and watch the spainish homes under the hammer.
nickers,the vile are playing in the play off second leg soccer match.
so we went out to find a bar showing the match.
ill admit most of this so far is untrue,other than the location and my beautifull body,from here its true.
we found an irish bar showing the game.
i had a couple of my usual crappy spanish beers,she had some girlie wines.
the place was quite full,just before kick off.
i stood up and shouted,any villa fans in here,the was about 15 who piped up,so i asked them one at a time,what part of birmingham are you from,not one,it was like listenening to the a to z of staffordshire,one bloke said i worked in birmingham for 2 years.
one of them said,who do you support,i said im a brummie guess,
the misses wasnt impressed and told me to shut my gob.
the match started,vile 1 nil up from the firt leg,i couldnt stop myself with the odd come on boro,and a few heads turning.
we had some more crappy spanish beer and girlie wines for the lady.
second half,i couldnt help myself again,the crappy spanish beer had unlocked my brummie vile hatred,i sang keep right on,followed by we are brummies[but not the last w part],and we hate villa more than poo.
she wasnt pleased and buggered off back to the holel playa blanca,shouting your going to bed without your cuppa soup.
she left me the only brummie in a pub half full of staffordshire vilers,i quite liked it.
full time 0-0 they got through.
i stand by the bar [a clever move,if they start on me the barstaff might be on my side]they just walk past me like they have just watched an episode of coronation st.
next morming i woke up and thought about it,and realised that i was out of order,and lucky not to get duffed up.
the final was on the same day that we flew home,i watched about 30 minutes and saw the fullham goal,in a place called arenal,then had to leave.
i found out the final score when i got back home,and liverpool lost in the cl final,it was a double ding dong.
anyway on tuesday im off to the the mar menor in spain,so i will be able to watch the vilers second leg match.
the misses has banned me from taking any blues stuff,shirt,scarf,hat,gloves,undercrackers.
i hope i can find a bar thats got the match on,with a few albion fans who i can make friends with and take the piss out of the staffordshires.