Transparency : The lost conversations - Pts 1 & 2 (6 replies)
Cook : we want to play attacking, no fear, entertaining, progressive football
Eustace : what? with this lot we picked up on a budget from the centre aisles of Lidl ? and you want it "Now"? ... can i have a few games to get them used to it please ? i mean most of them we only got on the cheap because they can hardly walk from one week to the next
Cook : no, we want it NOW
Eustace : can we wait until later on when we clear out the high earners i inherited and i can have chance to get such good players? With all the injuries etc, without Lairdo and Bucjo and mainly without Demebele i thought i'd done quite well to get us to 6th -
Cook : No... NOW ... i see a mis-alignment here - you're sacked !!
Part 2 :
Cook : Hi Wayne. Okay i've got rid of him and the job's yours my sweet
Wayne : How did you swing that one Gazzy babes ? Did you do the sensible thing and just tell the truth and that you are the boss and you can do what you want, whenever you want and you want me, your "bestie" to take over
Cook : Well, sort of
Wayne : Sort of ?
Cook : well i sort of said some things about "world class appointment", "Blues are on the rise", "no fear football"
Wayne : No fear football ? What's that?
Cook : No idea - but it sounds good eh ?
Wayne : er, er ... yeah, i suppose so. You didn't tell them any of the bad bits did you ? Like er, er my win record
Cook : Nah Wayney babes - don't worry about that - that's covered in the "world class appointment" clause
Wayne : so if my plans don't work can i tear them up every week and start all over again ? - i like doing that, it's fun
Cook : Yes babes
Wayne : and i can i call them all shit and that they'll never be as good as me or Asha or Johnno ?
Cook : Yes babes
Wayne : wow, and i can do that all in public too ? - 'cos you know it sounds tougher and better in public - none of this team bonding rubbish
Cook : absolutely babes
Wayne : and what happens if it doesn't all work out Gazza ? - i mean i've looked at the fixtures and all our games seem to be against teams below us and then we've got the three points guaranteed match against that Sheffield bunch, so we should be okay .... but what if it isn't ?
Cook : got that covered, i'll chuck someone else's cash at it - Waggers has plenty to spare - we thought about giving some of it to that Eustace bloke but he isn't my mate is he ?
Wayne : Cool- er can i have some money for myself as well ... Colleen has been hitting the credit cards a bit lately
Cook : Of course you can babes, how much do you want ?
Wayne : well i don't know how much the last bloke was on, but now i know i'm world class probably three times what the last bloke got
Cook : no problem babes
Wayne : and the fans are going to be okay with this ?
Cook : of course Wayno babes, Waggers has done some amazing things regarding infrastructure etc and they're putty in our hands, they'll fall for anything right now -
Wayne : er .. infra-what ?
Cook : Infrastructure babes .. you know, buildings, paint, weeding, getting seating mended and anyways i can just ell them they need to have FAITH
Wayne : Faith ? ..cool. Oh, by the way, Colleen says she wants a pet unicorn
Cook : no problem babes