My mother-in-law got me the creepiest wedding gift – her intentions were good but it still scars me 30 years later
GETTING the perfect wedding gift can be tricky, especially if you don’t know the bride and groom all that well.
If you are unsure what to get the happy couple, you might want to rule out any of these creepy gifts that scared one woman for life.
To make matters even worse, one of the wedding presents had been given to her by her mother-in-law.
Sharing her story on Reddit, the blushing bride claims that she got the ‘worst’ wedding gifts ever and it still haunts her decades later.
In fact, there were three items that are still etched in her mind.
Writing on the r/weddingshaming subreddit, she responded to an earlier thread about the ‘weirdest wedding gift’ people had received and told the group: “I decided that my answer deserved its own thread.”
Like many nineties brides, the Redditor had received kitchen goods as wedding gifts – including a re-gifted hand mixer.
As she pointed out, this would have been great apart for one small thing.
“This was fine as a gift, but at least tear off the remainder of the old paper, and take out the card to you from your wedding the month before,” she complained.
However, worse was yet to come as she also received six inscribed copies of a religious marriage manual, called Love for a Lifetime.
Recalling the book, she explained: “This is a hideously terrible evangelical tome about marriage. Six was an excessive number of copies to have.
“But inscribing this drivel means we can’t re-gift it to someone who might appreciate this trope.”
The worst present though was a ‘how-to sex tape’ that was narrated by the woman’s mother-in-law (yes, you read that right).
Naturally, the blushing bride has tried to remove this from her memory.
“It’s been 30 years, and the tape is (I think) somewhere in my house,” she revealed, adding: “We [my husband and I] both blotted most of it from our minds.”
If the gift wasn’t already deeply creepy, the guide also included prayers as it described sex acts.
“I clearly remember at least part of it that went something like, ‘The bride takes the Groom’s penis in her hand and strokes it gently. This was interspersed with some prayers,” the Redditor added.
She then joked: “Like I said, I have stricken it from memory, but it resurfaces from time to time.”
Ironically, the gift had meant to be a kind gesture.
Her reglious mother-in-law had wrongly assumed the couple, who graduated from the same Christian college, were waiting until their wedding night.
The shocked bride added: “I really think she made the cassette because we grew up in a cult, whose main teaching on sex was that it was this ‘terrible, horrible, awful, dirty thing that you saved to do with someone you truly loved on your wedding night’.
“I really think she did it hoping for the best for me.”
Well it is the thought that counts, right?
A Bride’s Ultimate Guide to Wedding Gifts
Fabulous's Digital Editor, Lydia Major, has shared her thoughts as a former bride on what to buy - and what not to buy - a couple for their big day.
I’m a traditionalist so I love to go to a wedding with a list. A list where the price points vary, the prezzies are a mix and there’s something for everyone. The joy of a list is we know the bride and groom want these things and we know no one else will buy the same – for me, that’s a win-win. I got married 8 years ago and still remember who bought us a certain photo frame or the posh-plate that only comes out at parties.
But, that being said, if someone doesn’t have a list I still would NEVER turn up empty handed. That’s plain rude. Even if the wedding cost an arm and a leg to get there. A wedding takes months, if not years,of planning, costs a fortune and it’s one of the best days out and the best parties you ever go to, so a small gesture of thanks is essential.
I still remember those who didn’t even bring a card to mine!
Also I don’t think a couple should ever quibble if guests want to give you a wedding present that’s not on your list – older generations, in particular, may feel this is more personal.
To be honest, it’s weddings where the couple want money contributed to their honeymoon or their house fund that makes me feel awkward. Is £50 tight, £150 too lavish? Where’s the benchmark? I spend weeks agonising over it talking to anyone or everyone going and then normally take a stab in the middle.
So for me – always go for a list, stick to the list and let the list be your guide!!