It doesn’t seem right to let my stepson have his girlfriend to stay the night

DEAR DEIDRE: IT doesn’t seem right to let my stepson have his girlfriend to stay the night.

Morally it doesn’t sit well with me. Am I being old-fashioned?

I am 55 and my wife is 44.

We have been together for five years.

Her son is 24.

He is in the Army so he only comes home now and then.

When he does come to stay, he asks if his girlfriend can spend the night with him, in his bed.

I am not comfortable about it.

I feel as if it wouldn’t be so bad if it was a girl he had been in a long-term relationship with, but it is always a different girl.

In some cases he has only known them for a matter of weeks.

We only see these girls for one visit and never really get to know them.

He only has a single bed in his room.

I have said he can have a girl stay, but they need to sleep in different rooms.

He is not happy with this.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your stepson is an adult and this has been his home long before you came into his life.

I wonder if the real problem is that you find it hard to share the house – and his mum – with him when he visits?

Perhaps you are jealous because things were very different when you were his age.

For your wife’s sake, it would be better for you to make him feel at home.

Suggest that he buys a double bed.

He has to live by his own morals, not yours.