‘I don’t want my girls to count calories’, Strictly’s Tess Daly bans the word ‘diet’ around her lookalike daughters
HAVING been at the helm of Strictly Come Dancing for nearly 20 years, Tess Daly (alongside her current co-host Claudia Winkleman) is the undisputed queen of Saturday-night television.
And although she realises her highly coveted “dream job” with BFF Claudia, 51, will come to an end at some point, at 53, Tess has absolutely no intention of stepping down any time soon.
And thank goodness for that.
“There are a lot of women in their 50s now on television, like me, Claud and Davina [McCall] – a lot more than there used to be,” she says.
“When it feels like it’s time to go and hide, I will! But I enjoy myself too much to leave any time soon. I’m northern and we’re pragmatic by nature. At this point, I’m grateful to still be healthy and working.
“I’ve got wrinkles galore. You know when you look down at your iPhone and the camera is open and you go: ‘Oh, my god!’ I’m at that point. But what’s the alternative?
“I’ve got to be grateful for a healthy life and a long career that I still love. Life is challenging enough as it is.
“There’s no point beating yourself up. Just get on with it and be grateful, that’s my attitude.”
Despite her protests, Tess looks years younger than her age. Surely she must be happy with what she sees in the mirror?
“No!” she laughs. “I look in the mirror and think: ‘Oh no!’ most of the time. Like all of us, you have moments when you’ve scrubbed yourself up, put on a nice frock and high heels and you think: ‘OK, let’s go.’
“But we’re all critical of ourselves, aren’t we? We tend to see our faults, but there’s no point dwelling on it.
“I’ve hated my nose since I was 15 years old,” she explains. “I broke it playing netball. I hate my profile. I’d love to change it, but I wouldn’t dare in case it just looked worse afterwards.
“It’s something I’ve lived with – and I’m trying to concentrate on the good stuff. Having my health and being here and strong and healthy for my kids – that’s what matters. That’s my priority.”
Her two daughters, Phoebe, 18, and Amber, 13, with husband of 19 years, radio host Vernon Kay, 48, are clearly Tess’ focus.
“In my mind, I’m a mum, and that’s what I’ve been for 18 years, and I manage to get out to work occasionally. But being a mum is so all-consuming.
“For me, it’s my most important role – it’s what I am first and foremost. The first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night is my kids’ wellbeing – and I bet any parent would agree with me,” she says.
The pair mainly keep their daughters out of the limelight, but shared pictures of the girls when Vernon competed in I’m A Celebrity! in 2020. Like the majority of mums, Tess frets about them being on their phones too much and the effect social media will have on how they feel about their appearance.
“I talk to them about the fact that, when I was young we could go out and there was no one filming us standing on a chair dancing. Now, everything is documented.
“There’s no escape from that. That is their generation, and it is what it is, but it means that they don’t have that carefree spirit. We were allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, whereas everything they do is filmed. It’s a bit sad.
“There’s a lot of pressure on this generation of girls growing up on social media,” she says with a sigh. “I don’t want to discuss their looks with them.
“I wouldn’t dream of putting any more pressure on my two, because I want them to believe that the content of their character is more important. Ultimately, that’s what you’ve got in life. Looks will fade, but you live with yourself forever.”
Tess became the darling of Saturday-night TV after beginning her career as a model. Her big break came at 17 when she was spotted by a modelling scout waiting for her sister outside a McDonald’s in Manchester.
The job took her all over the world, but she also discovered the darker side of modelling. “The fashion industry is not known for having a good relationship with food,” she admits.
“For me, dieting was never an option. I came from a family where you’d never skip a meal – it was just sacrilegious, so that was ingrained in me.
“I know this sounds a bit daft and naive, but when I started modelling, I couldn’t believe people would skip meals. I was around a lot of people who were depriving themselves of food because they felt they had to be thinner.
“I was told so many times: ‘You should look this way,’ then I was told: ‘You should put weight on.’ I thought: ‘You said something different to me last month.’ That’s when I realised to just take it with a pinch of salt.
“I’ve never dieted or counted calories. I’ve never overeaten, but I haven’t deprived myself, either. I saw a lot of unhappiness caused by diets.
“I’ve seen too many friends sabotage their health through crash diets for a quick fix. I enjoy healthy whole foods, but I also like a tuna melt or a fry-up on the weekend.
“You can’t deprive yourself of what you really fancy, because you deserve it, especially if you’ve worked your arse off all day long. It’s all about moderation.”
The TV presenter has always been mindful of how she talks about food around her daughters. Her greatest pleasure is cooking meals for her family each evening and ensuring they are all well fed.
She says: “I’m a total foodie. I’ve been on a food discovery [mission] since growing up in the north and having meat and two veg all the time. When I left home aged 17, the most exotic thing I’d had was a frozen pizza.
“For me, it’s an act of love, nurturing them through food. I’ve been feeding my family for 18 years now, so I might as well enjoy it.
“As a mother of girls, I’ve always been wary of using the word ‘diet’. I believe in having a healthy relationship with food. I don’t want my girls to be counting calories – I don’t think that’s where happiness lies.
“After so many years of being judged on my appearance, I realised that the secret to feeling good was what was happening inside the body.”
Like most mums, Tess spends the majority of her time running around after her kids – but now, she’s really trying to carve out some me-time.
She says: “Every woman I know is time-poor. Whether she’s at home looking after her kids or she’s out at work, she’s ticking off her to-do list.
“I’m so guilty of going: ‘It’s Sunday night and I’ve forgotten to wash her PE kit!’ I’m not a worrier, but I don’t want to be the mum who forgets the swimming kit and my child is shamed.
“We’re all trying to keep the balls we are juggling up in the air. We’ve all got so many responsibilities and our lives are full of busyness. We get stretched in so many directions and we don’t take enough time for ourselves.
“I feel really passionate about the fact that it’s important that we try and take out just a few minutes every day for a little bit of self-care.”
Tess is so keen to have some me-time that she gets up 10 minutes earlier than the rest of the family just so she can be alone.
“My alarm goes off at 6.30am and everyone else’s is at 6.40am. That way I know I’ve got 10 minutes for myself.
“I put the kettle on and sit there while it’s boiling and think about the day ahead, before I hear the patter of feet running down the stairs – and then
“I’m pretty much running about till the end of the day. Sometimes then I lock the bathroom door and go: ‘I’m in here, don’t come in,’ and I run a nice bath and light a candle. It feels like a treat after you’ve done everything for everyone else.
“Or sometimes I’ll do 10 minutes’ stretching. It feels like a little act of self-care.”
Surprisingly, it was her former Strictly co-presenter, Bruce Forsyth, who she worked with from 2004 to 2013, who she credits for motivating her to stretch every day.
She explains: “The late, great Bruce Forsyth was an inspiration. I started working with him when he was in his 70s and he was so fit. As we get older, we stoop, we get less flexible, but he was an example of how you can actually overcome that just by being mindful of it by stretching every day.
“He would literally leap from his seat to standing and was full of beans. He’d be moving all the time and looked after himself.
“In the 10 years I worked with him, I never once heard him complain about an ache or pain. He credited the secret of his energy to a daily 30-minute exercise routine practised by Tibetan monks, which involved lots of stretching.
“He’s a shining example of what you can achieve even in your 80s and beyond by being fit. A workout is not a natural place for me. I never look forward to it, but after, I think: ‘I feel better for it.’”
Now, Tess is sharing her knowledge in her new book, 4 Steps To A Happier, Healthier You, which is split into four sections: Eat, Breathe, Move and Sleep.
She explains: “I’ve been passionate about wellbeing for pretty much my whole adult life. I jumped at the chance to do a book, because being able to share your passion about something with like-minded people is a joy.
“It’s a treat. It just felt like a lovely thing to do – and a perfect fit, because it’s what I live and love.
“I explain how I’m enhancing my own lifestyle through the wellness steps, including looking after my gut, moving so I am able to run up the stairs, breathing properly and good sleep – we all need it and don’t get enough of it.
“I find as women we’re often last on our own lists – and they’re very long lists. We owe it to ourselves to look after ourselves a little bit in this fast-paced world.”
In the make-up chair with Tess
What are your skincare heroes?
I’ve been using Clarins Beauty Flash Balm for about 20 years. I also use a luminiser – I slap Charlotte Tilbury Wonderglow everywhere for a healthy, dewy glow.
Any make-up bag essentials?
Eyelash curlers, cotton buds, tweezers and a 20x magnifying mirror – which is always a rude awakening!
Do you have any beauty tips?
Use Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream on your cuticles for an instant manicure. Also, ginger in your diet helps with puffiness.
What do you splurge on?
I rarely treat myself, but a Neom candle is a decadent gift.
Who’s your beauty icon?
J.Lo makes being in your 50s look fabulous – she’s naturally gorgeous.
Describe your beauty evolution
The luxury of getting older is you care less. My philosophy now is “less is more”, and my routine is much more pared back. I get ready to go out in about 10 minutes.