It's been difficult to stay connected with my college friends post-graduation. We now schedule mini-reunions.

A college grad realized her group chat with her college friends suddenly went silent. They now plan to meet up in person so that they stay connected.

• After college graduation, I was worried I'd lose contact with my friends; we started a group chat. 
• The group chat went silent as everyone got busy with their post-graduation lives. 
• We now plan mini-reunions in person so that we can stay connected.

College was tough, but one of the few things that made it bearable for me was the gift of friendship. I came in as a freshman, eager to explore the new life college would expose me to. Slowly, I started meeting people who piqued my interest.

Finding out that we were in the same year led to most of us hanging out, attending classes together, and making plans for after graduation. Beginning school together solidified our friendship and created a sense of community. Through the years, we were closely knit, paying each other visits, working on school projects, and partying together. The most challenging days in college were cushioned by the knowledge that my friends could relate, and that we could all hold each other up. That gave me a lot of comfort.

In my third year, it hit me that the dynamic of my friendships would be very different after college. I had always known it subconsciously, but at that point, I was staring right at the possibility. We would no longer be in the same college space, bound by activities that would make us stay in contact. We would be states and countries apart.

Life after college is when many make tough decisions, such as getting a new job in a new city, getting married, starting a new degree, or opening a business in a bustling town. Inevitably, I knew, it would affect my friendships.

We created a group chat to keep in touch

After spending 5 years in college with my friends, we all separated, hardly hanging out like we used to. It was inevitable. We all promised to keep in touch, so we started a group chat with the promise that we wouldn't forget each other.

For the first few months, the group chat was always bubbling with life updates from everyone. My friends always had something to say or a meme to drop. It was as lively as it had been in college.

But that didn't last long. The transition from interacting physically to virtual began to take its toll. The group chat slowly went quiet and then silent.

One of us had gotten a job, and others got busy with different things. Unlike in college, there was not much to stimulate constant conversations anymore. My fear of losing my friends post-graduation started to come true.

I knew we would all drift apart forever if we continued not communicating with each other.

I'm trying to connect with my college friends in new ways

I quickly learned that to preserve a relationship — any relationship — you must be intentional. Life happens, and people get busy, but if you don't nurture the things you love, like flowers, they will wilt away.

So, I planned a group call one weekend after the group chat had been dormant for a while. The conversation started slowly but caught on fast. We decided to be more in contact and planned physical meet-ups, which has gone well. Our activities so far have included trying out foreign food, restaurants, and Karaoke. Our most recent reunion was a color-themed picnic at the beach, which was a laughter-filled day. We ensure each experience chosen is a first for everyone. These mini-reunions allow us to catch up with each other in person after a long time.

However, not all of my friends can meet physically due to many factors. I usually leave them a text on social media, asking about their well-being and giving an update on my end. This has proven to be more effective than calling because they might be busy then. They can easily relax and respond to texts instead of a rushed phone call or the pressure to remember to return a missed call. I also try to reach out on important days such as birthdays and anniversaries. This keeps up the connection.

Different things will work for different friend groups. What is most important is intentionality. Not every friendship will survive after college, and that's normal, but for those you want to flourish, you must constantly make and reciprocate efforts.