Gentle parenting the Mariners through a 6-1 loss to the Nationals

Because yelling doesn’t work, even if it feels cathartic

There was plenty of disappointment after today’s 6-1 loss to the Washington Nationals. Scott Servais sounded frustrating in his postgame interview, saying “We got outpitched, we got outhit, we got outscored.” In today’s postgame show on ROOT Sports, Angie Mentink was direct in her criticisms of the team: George Kirby is too much in the zone, and the offense needs to do more in the zone. The story was the same on 710 Seattle Sports’ postgame show, also tasked with analyzing why this team has been on such a bad run of late. It’s hard not to hear a slightly parental tone of disappointment in these analyses, so I thought maybe we could couch some of these tough truths in Gentle Parenting terms (with credit to Ms. Frazzled, a great follow on either Instagram or TikTok, especially if you interact often with children).

George Kirby was stellar the first time through the lineup, putting the Nationals down 1-2-3 in the first three innings. He was largely on the edges, getting batters reaching across the plate or jamming balls in on them for weak ground outs and flyouts. This at-bat against Joey Meneses was particularly good, where Kirby started by expanding the zone, working the edges, and then expanded again to get the aggressive Meneses reaching for a strikeout.

But things unraveled in the fifth. This is how the at-bat against Meneses went this time:

Uh-oh, friend! No, Thank You on that pitch location. I understand you want to work ahead, but I need you to—silent coyote please, let’s put on our listening ears—go back and look at what you did in the last at-bat, and learn from that and from what the pitching coaches are telling you to get out of the zone please. Okay, got it got it? Say it back please! Now here comes the next batter and -

Uh-oh spaghetti-os friend, that is not where that should go, is it? I know you are having some big feelings about having two runners on base, but I think we need to tell our brain that these kinds of pitches to start an at-bat are all done. Because...right, because they make you sad, and that makes us sad.

Okay! I see that you are making a change here in the fifth inning, shine on shine on, that’s excellent work, friend! Your pitches were all on the edges and you did not try to steal a strike with a first pitch on the plate, because...right, because stealing is not okay, especially against a team that has a game plan to jump on your first pitches. And more and more teams are doing that and—yes, I know, copying is wrong, but George needs to worry about George, okay? So let’s just move along to the sixth and—

Oh no, friend, I know you had some big feelings about walking the batter before this and that is frustrating, isn’t it, when the hitters won’t chase even when you really want them to. But this is a pitch that should have stayed as an inside thought, zip it lock it put it in your pocket, because in a full count, this batter is ready for a fastball over the plate and ready to put his best swing on it, because just like you’re trying to do your best job, they’re trying to do their best job.

Postgame, Kirby said “I’ve gotta get more fine with it”—and uh-oh, friend! I do not think this is the lesson you want to take from this outing. Catch a bubble please. I think now is a good idea for you to go in the Thinking Chair and maybe write some of your feelings down on paper. I would be frustrated, too, if my teammates did not give me any help on the group project, but that does not mean we have to try to solve all the problems ourselves. How about you have a snack and a think and we will try again next time.

Because once again, the offense did not give any help to their starting pitcher, and that is not okay, friends. I know we did get off to a good start, let’s all give some sparkles to J.P., who started this game off with a big smile:

Show me those sparkles. Yes! Okay, friends, J.P. had two hits, but everyone else together only had three hits. Does that sound fair? No, it’s not fair. Yes, Julio, I know, you hit the ball in the air three times, and that’s really encouraging, shine on shine on, but we really need some of those to go for hits. But you’re right, no strikeouts is something to be celebrated right now, let’s give some snaps. Thank you for reminding me. It is so important to be your own advocate because that is your number one job in this world.

Okay, but everyone else, I need you to put on your listening ears, one-two-three, eyes on me. Striking out 10 times makes everyone feel super sad, so let’s make a better choice. We are in a community and everyone has to do their part. Like, do you remember the story about Stone Soup we read? We can all have a nice meal to share but only when everyone...that’s right, works together. Should we sing the Together We Can Get It Done song again?

Okay friends, we are going to try again tomorrow, because that’s what’s nice about life, we can have a chance to make a better choice. Let’s go back to our list of things we can do when we have some big feelings—yes, the Mean Reds list, thank you Ty, you’re such a good helper—and choose to do something else with our time for a while. Yes, Stardew Valley is a great choice! Let’s hear some other things we can do. I have to go now, there’s a Billy Joel concert at T-Mobile Park and someone with a megaphone needs to be talked to about minding your own body and not making choices for other people, and especially about not hurting other people’s ears with their own choices, but I’ll see you all tomorrow.