Новости за 11.02.2024

"Just seen a tiktok where this girl asked her bf for pads with wings so he got her pads & 36 chicken wings."

There are truly no wrong answers here.

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"And they lived happily ever after –"

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I'm always right.

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"I make more than both of my parents put together ever did, but I feel like they were living better than I am."

Simply put, more than a few of these are *chef's kiss*.

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"Rapid fire applying to jobs on LinkedIn like a lonely bottom sending 'Hey Handsome” to the entire grid at 2 am." — @tylerhmead

"A couple of years ago, I came into a large amount of money ($10M+) somewhat unexpectedly... My biggest mistake was simply telling the people in my life about it. People don't want to spend their own money — they want to spend YOURS because it isn't real to them. So, when you say no, obviously the only reason is that you're rich, greedy, and don't care about anyone but yourself."

"The politicians I knew didn't sign anything. They had a machine that did all the signing for them. So technically the autographs were not even real."

Well, that doesn't look good.

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"I superglued my hand to my mom's hand cause she didn't know I had just put on fake nails, and we both lost some skin on our fingers with that ordeal."

"The internet went wild for this, and there are still some true believers out there. I say 'meh.'"

"Never, ever, ever, ever wash INSIDE the actual vagina as it’s self cleaning."

Don't dismiss this issue, especially if you feel like something is off.

"My father used to describe himself as a 'quarter-century' man. If something can’t last 25 years, he wasn’t interested in buying it."

Cheating on your girlfriend and then asking her sister out for drinks is definitely...a choice.

Homeowners, it's time to get real...

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“Wouldn’t it be funny if I went to Uganda? I’ve always wanted to know where rappers come from.”

If you're Gen Z, we want to hear from you. (If you're not, send this to someone who is.)

Me, asking for a hockey-themed Valentine: "To Audrey, our love was once a power play, but now the penalty box is where I'll stay. Our love turned cold, just like the ice, and now I'm skating away in sacrifice. You used to be my goal, my shining star, but now I'm the goalie, guarding my heart from afar. I thought our love had the perfect score, but now all I feel is checked and sore. So here's my break-up slapshot, straight from the heart, goodbye Audrey, it's time for us to part."

She looks like a CD. ????????

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This situation is really getting out of hand.

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You totally deserve a sparkly top and a scalp massager.

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