Harriette Cole: I heard the snobby things they said about my job

I love my work, and I bet I make more money than most of them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to college for nursing mainly because my mother wanted me to do that, but I was never really interested in the subject. Later, I went back for my aesthetician’s license.

I have been working in a spa for the past few years, and it’s going really well. I make good money and great tips, and I love what I do.

My challenge is that my family members and friends don’t respect my work. Whenever I talk about it, they act like it’s a short-term gig and that I am above this type of work. Literally, sometimes I hear comments about how I’m too smart to be doing this kind of thing.

Really? I feel confident that I make more money than they do, at least some of them, and I am happy doing it.

This gets under my skin sometimes. Should I say something or just shrug it off?

Let Me Be

None of these people should have dominion over you — especially your thoughts about yourself. The reality is, there are all types of jobs in the world. You have chosen something that makes you happy. Let that be enough.

Don’t look to your family to validate you. Build a network of peers who see your worth, and enjoy your life. Resist talking negatively about the people who are judging you. Look past them and stay focused on your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a business consultant. I worked with a new team this week and got to observe the program facilitator up close.

She did an outstanding job taking care of her team and making sure that the environment was conducive to a positive outcome. I led the workshop and was sure to thank her at the end for all of her hard work. I noticed that she teared up when I acknowledged her.

Before I left, I spoke to her, and she sheepishly told me that she rarely gets recognition. It’s not that she craves it, she said, because she does it for the team. But it would be nice to be seen by her boss sometimes.

That got me thinking that maybe I could put a good word in for her with her boss. Yes, I said it in the moment at the workshop, but what do you think? Could it help her if I mention her by name in a follow-up note?

Celebrate

DEAR CELEBRATE: Acknowledging others’ hard work is always a good thing.

As the outsider, you have a unique vantage point. By all means, send a note to the leader of the team thanking them for inviting you to be a part of the event. Highlight something that occurred content-wise that was beneficial to the core work that they do, and then mention the facilitator by name and point to something specific that she did that helped to make the event a success.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.