I did a DNA test for ‘fun’ and then discovered I’d been raising a stranger’s baby for 12 years
WHEN Donna Johnson, 47, from Salt Lake City, USA, and her family took DNA tests, she never imagined the bombshell that would explode in their lives.
She reveals how they broke the news to their then-12-year-old son – and tracked down his biological father.
Reading the DNA test results online, I figured there had been a mistake.
They said that my husband Vanner, now 47, was the father of our eldest son, but the father of our youngest was unknown.
I tried desperately to understand.
Then, in a moment of sickening clarity, I realised there must have been a mix-up at the clinic where we’d had IVF.
I met Vanner, who works in financial software, in high school.
We married in 2003 and had our son, Vanner Jr, now 18.
We couldn’t wait to have another baby, but Vanner developed hernia problems and surgery caused damage that meant we couldn’t conceive naturally.
In March 2007, we had our first round of IVF using my eggs and his sperm.
It failed, but that summer, we tried again and it worked.
When our son Tim was born in August 2008, it felt like a miracle.
Like many siblings, the boys were different.
Vanner Jr had his dad’s blue eyes and fair hair, while Tim had my dark hair and was sporty.
We were a happy family and Vanner doted on both boys.
One day when the kids were older, for fun, we decided to do a DNA test to find out more about our heritage.
Six weeks later, in August 2019, the results came back.
Quickly, our denial gave way to fear.
Who was Tim’s biological dad?
Could Tim be taken away from us?
We contacted a lawyer, who reassured us we’d remain Tim’s legal parents, which was a huge relief.
But I struggled to watch Vanner come to terms with the fact that Tim wasn’t biologically his.
He wasn’t any different around him, but I could tell he was in shock.
I sank into depression, and it was hard for me to focus on my job as a teacher.
With the help of a counsellor, we worked through it and decided to tell Tim – then 12 – the truth, figuring it would be worse if he found out as an adult.
In October 2020, Vanner took Tim out for ice cream to break the news.
When they returned, I swept our son into a hug, telling him how much we loved him.
He was very quiet and said he loved us, too.
Later, Vanner told me that when he’d broken the news, Tim had taken a few seconds to process it, then said, “Really? I guess I wish I knew what I would have looked like with your genes.”
Tim handled it with such maturity, as did Vanner Jr, who said that Tim was still his brother.
A few weeks later, Tim said he wanted us to find his biological dad.
We respected his decision, but we were worried about what might happen.
Using a second DNA test with another company, we found a woman we thought was Tim’s biological aunt.
More digging unearthed a blog written by her brother, a man called Devin McNeil, who lived eight hours away in Colorado.
We could see he was married with children.
We found Devin’s number online and knew that calling him would change all of our lives.
But it’s what Tim wanted, so in March 2021, my husband dialled the number.
The two spoke privately while I waited anxiously in another room.
Afterwards, Vanner said Devin, 47, had been understandably sceptical, but agreed to do a DNA test.
Two days later, we all talked on FaceTime.
My anxiety was sky-high, but Devin and his wife Kelly, 46, were lovely, accepting that we were not asking them for anything.
There wouldn’t be a custody battle, as we all believed that Vanner was Tim’s dad.
We just wanted to figure out how this had happened and what to do.
We worked out that we’d been at the same IVF clinic on the same day, 14 years earlier.
I’d gone in for egg retrieval, Kelly for embryo implantation for her oldest son Talon.
DNA tests confirmed Devin was Tim’s father as well as Talon’s – the sperm samples hadn’t been swapped; instead, Devin’s had somehow been used for both.
Tim was excited when we told him we’d found Devin, and we met in June 2021 in a park near our home.
I tried to hide my nerves as the four of us said hello to Devin, Kelly and their children, Talon, 15, Paxton, 10, and Londyn, eight.
Hugging a stranger I’d made a baby with was surreal, but some of my anxiety melted away as the children began to play.
As Tim went to ask Devin the questions he’d prepared, like how tall he’d been at his age, and I saw how easily they spoke, I was finally able to relax.
It was strange to see them together, but somehow OK.
I saw many resemblances in their mannerisms and interests – more so than in how they looked.
Kelly handled the discovery well too, and her concern for Tim’s best interests made me so thankful.
Just before we left, a few hours later, Vanner asked Tim if he’d like a photo with Devin.
Tim replied that he’d like a picture with both his dads. I nearly cried.
If he could cope this brilliantly, then so could I.
In the 20 months since, his love for Vanner is as strong as ever, and vice versa.
As well as regular texts, calls and video chats, we met with Devin, Kelly and their children again in November 2021.
Then, last summer, we visited them in Colorado.
We settled out of court with the clinic in 2022.
We still don’t know how it happened, and it’s frustrating the industry doesn’t properly protect the families they serve.
Kelly and Devin are wonderful people.
They feel like an extension of our family – there’s no secret or shame, just two families facing the future with love and friendship.
Kelly says: “Seeing Donna on FaceTime was surreal.
“As we spoke, I kept thinking: ‘This woman, who I’ve never met, has had my husband’s child!’
“When the tests showed Devin was Talon’s father, the relief was overwhelming.
“But the ramifications of what had happened to the Johnsons were huge.
“Despite our shock, Devin and I tried to stay calm.
“Telling the children was nerve-wracking, but they accepted it – and even thought it was exciting.
“Devin has handled everything with compassion and care, and we’ve both worked with Donna and Vanner to help Tim connect with Talon, Paxton and Londyn.
“There have been moments that have caught me off-guard, like the first time I heard our kids say they had three siblings not two, but I’ve realised I can accept difficult things and turn a potential negative into a wonderful positive.
“My family is stronger than ever – and now that extends to the Johnsons, too.”
